Thursday, April 29, 2010

I Think I'm Turning Japanese.

Japan, land of the OLED screen, big-ass robots, and amorous tentacles. It wasn't always this way though, yes, there was a time when nose bondage wasn't okay to have around, in fact Japan used to be a bit of a police state, they tried very hard to remove all western influence and tried to hide the numerous sexual artifacts that had been a major part of their culture so that the West wouldn't view them as perverse (which is ironic cos I asked a friend what their first thought about Japan was and he replied, "used panty machines"). Anyways, around 1868 during the Meiji Restoration, they went absolutely crazy about censorship, they even censored their own censorship! Well, thanks to the numerous wars they took part in, it gave them further incentive to censor what was being released to outsiders and their own public, to the point where their Information and Propaganda Department of Japan converted to the Information Bureau and what that means is that this government agency now had control over any and all information given to the public. In fact; they revised their old laws and got rid of freedom of the press, all newspapers either had to convert to one single government controlled paper or completely go out of publishing.
Now Japan hasn't always been a prude, and during it's time off from getting fucked up by massive radioactive lizards, it's kinda relaxed in recent years. During the Edo Period there were entire districts that were devoted to state-controlled prostitution; like Yoshinwara, which in it's present day form still has sex trade establishments. And they had old pornographic woodblocks called shunga, and this shit had stuff like demon sex, bestiality, and even some dick gods, so, it's basically in their genes to fantasize about some pretty fucked up stuff. (actually it's more likely that, since they were virtually untouched during the rise of Christianity, and later, the rise of Islam, [which it's follower's decided to go out of their way to destroy entire Indian temples decorated with sculptures of coitus] so they were never bothered with the stigma of sexual taboos)

What a bunch of prudes.

So learning this history and shit is great and all, but let's get to the really fun part, It's still illegal to depict genitalia (however they're so lax about it nowadays that it's more of a decision on the artist's part on whether they'll censor it or not) and thus one man decided to exploit a rather odd loophole, you can't show genitals, but you can show penetration by way of phallic object. let's read that again: you can't show genitals, but you can show penetration by way of phallic object. Whatever, anyways, the man is Toshiro Maeda, a manga artist who's work was later turned into numerous animes, and he had the ingenious idea to depict women getting penetrated by tentacles!
Now, ask yourself this: if Judaism had never existed, then would the majority of the world be more similar to Japan? Imagine if you will; ordering a tentacle dildo for a friend's birthday, or paying a dollar to buy a canned vagina from the vending machine. (between the used panties and the encapsulated girl's phone numbers)

And admittedly, it'd be pretty awesome

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