Monday, May 17, 2010


He played Caine, man. : (

David Carradine. A true BAMF. Died, nay, slaughtered cos he loved making himself feel loved with a belt. Auto-erotic asphyxiation (AEA): the (sort've) silent killer of the young and old (more the former). To those that don't know what AEA is, let me explain it: "Kyle" thinks to himself, "gee, I haven't had a very good day today, time to bust-a-nut, but not just any nut, I need to make this special cos today would've been me and my divorcee's tenth anniversary," so, he decides to choke himself as he masturbates. Because it'd look ridiculous and be uncomfortable to choke himself with one hand and jerk with the other, he decides to wrap a belt around his neck and tie the other end on the clothing post in his closet, and as he get's closer to climaxing, he realizes, "oh fuck, everything's getting sort've hazy, I think I shou-". BOOM! BLACKOUT! he's now unconscious, hanging from a belt in the closet with dick in hand and belt getting tighter as his body slumps, running out of breath till eventually DEATH.

Funnily enough I remember the footballers at school loved choking each other at parties. You be the judge of that.

Unsurprisingly, when loved ones find their husband, child, parent, etc...nude, semen-stained, and surrounded by porn, they decide to dress them up, remove said porn, and make the place somewhat kosher. Thus, suicide by hanging soared during the 90's, but an estimated 500-1000 of those deaths were linked to AEA. So when did this start? Some of the earliest documentation of it's origins are in the 1600's, when it was used as a remedy for erectile dysfunction. Why the fuck would they think that? Most likely because during public hangings, the executed would suffer a death boner (and sometimes death ejaculate) thanks to the noose tightening on the spinal cord, causing a forced reaction in the genitals to erect to the sensation (bleh.) Now here's a gross little folktale, people used to believe that mandrakes (a plant believed to hold many magical properties) would grow from the where the hanged man's ejaculate fell.

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